As you may know, last week I declared to write about 'stuff I know' and so this week I thought that I'd start right at the beginning with something I know all too much about. And unfortunately, that would be Fear, with a capital F, (my least favourite F word) - also to clarify not horror film fear, this is a blog post, not 'Taken'.
Fear can be all consuming, it can be totally demoralising and worst of all it can stop us in our tracks from doing what we want to do. I believe that ultimately you should live without regret, run around with gay abandon and do whatever you bloody well want (within reason), in constant pursuit of happiness, throwing caution to the wind. Unfortunately I don't always practice what I preach (I am getting better, I promise). The reason for that is Fear. It takes hold of us far too often and stops us from taking the plunge.
So, I've recently spent some time reflecting upon this devious F word, and I've come to realise that when we look Fear in the eye and tell it to 'the-other-F-word-off', this is when we really make memories. It's when we end up with, not only the best stories but generally the most amazing feeling of happiness and contentment, for having achieved something no matter how big or small, simply because we have faced out Fears.
Fear may have stopped me from going places in the past (literally and figuratively), but last year I took the bull by the horns. As a result of this, I feel more content and pleased with what I have accomplished than ever before. The moment that I faced my fears was on a beautiful sunny day in July, I had been job hunting for a while and that day I was offered a job. I didn't want to do this job but, it was a job, and I had no job - you see my predicament. I took a deep breath (and a bottle of wine) and I sat in my garden calling everyone I could think of to give me advice. Now, I realise this is NOT good advice, and I am certainly not recommending alcoholism as a means to cure the indecisive! But, it just so happened that that day, that is what I did and I made a decision then and there to 'go for it'. My decision was, (as you may have guessed) to turn down the secure job offer and pursue the thing I loved; to take a risk, regardless of the Fear. The lovely people I asked, who cared about my well being, said a mixture of things helpful and unhelpful, and in the end I listened to all of them and none of them. I made up my own mind. Sometimes you need to know that people are with you and that you won't be doing it all alone. Whether its big decisions (like starting a business) or small (like posting a video of yourself on Facebook!) Fear is much easier to manage when you have support from friends and faith in yourself.
Since that beautiful, wine fuelled day I have not looked back. Of course it's not been easy, where would the fun be if it was?! Of course there are times I feel petrified to make a decision because so much depends on it, money, pride, effort - the list goes on. Of course there will be more Fear to come big and small. But when I take a minute and think about how scary it all is, I feel nothing but pride. Like I've kicked fears ass so far and *damn right* I can do it again!
So, the point i'm trying to make is this; Do it rather than regret it. Face the fear and see what happens, and remember, you don't always have to do it alone!